To Hell with Them

Odd thing today. Suddenly I realized that all good things that people do are never respected, nor understood. In fact, I would argue that all good deeds are the acts of the desperate and the thug attitude of permeating hate is more appropriate. To create the image of being feared and hated garners more respect than to be or secretly act fair and caring. Mostly this applies to little girls between the ages of 16 to 30.

It's odd. Within my past two weeks, I have effectively watched over a psychotic break, a cutter, a man realizing a life change has occurred, and another friend who's in the process of a divorce. Somehow, I am responsible for the emotional welfare of these people. The argument has been passed that I shouldn't care and to let them burn... but then that would mean that I'm irresponsible to those have entrusted me with their faith and good word. That's another thing, you are respected more if you are a flake or liar...especially by those same little girls. I guess I have come to work around combat arms for too long in thinking that all those attributes of honor, trust, faith, and selfless service are second nature to those you help and in turn are reciprocal. Then again, I guess that maybe I'm an ugly guy therefore it's expected of me to be that caring individual that is so desperate for attention; so by default will do those acts anyway. Dose that mean that these little girls always expect attention, and go nuts when they don't get it from sects of the population. A small gaggle of hair tossers pass by the angry ugly guy who is blind is assaulted by fake laughs and head-cocked smiles... simply because the self-absorbed little girls are too blind to see that he cannot see?

In the end, it doesn’t matter. I will never win the girl because the harsh reality is that the good-looking girls are effectively fucked in the head. They are looking for the ones that hurt them. Then need that abuse to know their place in the world. They will never stand for themselves nor live by a code of honor that has developed over several thousands of years among men that help foster respect and trust among peers even through sheer hatred. I must sound like a misogynist, but I would like to, once in my life, see a woman live for herself and not out of a reactionary impetus against the man-stablishment. AND then recognize those same codes that are cordially floated throughout the establishment as respect, not using T&A.

This also begs the question are guys (assholes between the ages of 15 and 30) just as at fault by beating down women into their idealized keyholes of comfort? Telling women what to do because their own impetus at life fails miserably? Assholes that control women are no better than those that control people. Unless it's willing control. Maybe I should work at Victoria's Secret in sales to see if I face sexual harassment, if only to see it does happen at the other end.

Back to the issue of hate acts versus human acts. At what point in our history was it that people were expected to act like assholes, and this was respected. It's almost like that one needs to have some modicum of such just to ensure his survival. Hell, just to even be looked at. I think from now on I'll start to refuse being human and just follow the path of the irritating asshole just to cause problems with those who expect attention. All my good deeds will to be to those who don't deserve and will probably never know me, just to further incite problems. The trick is then, getting the girls to look only to get beat down by a comment or apathy.

This is going to make socalizing with randoms into a tournament of wills. Somehow I can't wait.