It's 4am

It's 4am and I can't sleep. I stare at the ceiling wondering if this is my last day. Last day for anything. "Live for the moment" I have been told, but I have learned that people only use that just to see who they are going bang. I tried living, and now I'm tired of it. People I know are just full of secrets, and they give them to me. How am I supposed to hold all this stuff? Living for the moment can't work for me because I have to hold all the crap that's not mine. On the other hand...I could live for the monet and not be the person that people confide in. Stare at the ceiling at 4AM wondering if people are OK but knowing that they can sleep easy because their weight is on my shoulders.

It's great. I now have a friend who is boning used to be my best friend. In fact due to the post and recent boning, is why she is not my best friend. Hell, i didn't even get to 3rd base with my best friend AND declared love to her. But she likes strange dick, not the promise of an companionship forged with time and fire. Funny how people change. Funny how girls upgrade to surface things, when they can't see the greatness within people. Easy for me to say? Hell Yes. I am a superhero. You'll know it when I save your ass. Also, I now have a friend who tells my other friends how to think and what to do. I now know that my once and lost best friend has been making promises to never speak to me again prior to the boning. I hate these people. I need to never talk to them again. But they were good people once. Or were they? Was I to blind to see them at the time. Was my own nieavite so great that I allowed them to be my friends. This is the price of being a friend. If so, I want nothing to do with friends ever again.